A Highway to Hell, Dug by Doug Ford

A t this point, what do you even say about a guy like Doug Ford? His latest commitment to doubling down on blasting a tunnel under Highway 401, the busiest in North America, ought to disqualify him from the Ontario premiership.

Spanning from Brampton and Mississauga to Scarborough and Markham, the project is pitched as a once-in-a-generation fix to the region’s population boom and gridlock. It’s a risky boondoggle. His own government has said as much. Global News reported on an internal report that cited “potential for roadway collapse.” Experts say the subterranean corridor could cost $100 billion. I’ll take the over on that. Studies alone will take years. The project itself, if it ever sees the, er, light of day, will push beyond a decade, potentially into decades, and that’s if its builders can even scrounge up the labour to construct it and if anyone can manage to secure funding.

Last Wednesday, Ford shared news that the artery would run just under twenty metres in width, featuring two lanes—one eastbound and one westbound—with a sub-tunnel lane for transit. One wonders what happens if there’s an accident. Presumably there’s a plan for that, but presumably one is meeting the government more than halfway when assuming as much. I just can’t get AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell” out of my head.

The best explanation I can manage for the idea is that Ford thinks like a toddler. Maybe he’s obsessed with big machines. He’s certainly captured by the allure of megaprojects underwritten by massive promises whose delivery is safely tucked away in the future, well down the road . . . or the tunnel. Some observers will claim the Ford government is crooked and that the scheme is a mere private sector giveaway that would catch Ontario up with Quebec and its decades of corrupt public works undertakings.

I think it absolutely would be a private sector giveaway of epic proportions. I also think it would be subject to the low standards and dodgy practices we’ve come to expect from the Tories, reminiscent of the Greenbelt saga (police investigation ongoing).

But while the odds that the government would run afoul of its own laws when building this tunnel are high, I don’t think the project is corrupt. I think the premier really believes it’s a good idea: a future-forward boon to commuters and industry alike, a moonshot that would set Ontario apart, and ahead, while clearing up traffic congestion for decades to come (decades from now). I think Ford wants to get the route built for good reasons he believes are true and in the interest of the public. I think his heart is pure. I also think he’s wrong and his intentions are horrifically misplaced, out of step with the future, and delusional.

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In some ways, doing it for the right reasons is worse than if the government’s motives were cynical. The project is so foolish and dangerous that pursuing it even as something worthy of serious study is a waste of time, energy, attention, and money. It won’t get built, but if the government tries—and I’m talking shovels-in-the-ground tries—by the time the thing is up and running, the world will have moved on. The tunnel wouldn’t be fit for purpose. And that’s before you consider that it risks inducing more traffic, as lane expansions tend to.

Ford has vowed to push ahead, no matter the price tag or the engineering headaches. “You think of fifty years down the road,” he said on Wednesday. “We are building that tunnel as sure as I’m talking to you.” He cited the Channel tunnel between England and France as a bold piece of infrastructure, suggesting that if you can do that, you can certainly dig the 401 tunnel.

Speaking to reporters, the premier went full-on Howard Hughes. “You have two things to do. You either sit there, be stagnant, like a lot of governments did, and watch the capacity on all 400 series highways max out in ten years, including the 407, or you think of the future.” But he also conceded it will take . . . a long time, saying he’d be “pushing up tulips by the time everyone’s riding this full steam.” What a visionary.

Ford is a true believer in the tunnel. In a sensible province, any government that floated this proposal for more than a day would be run out of town on the rails. But voters have had a few chances and plenty of reasons to do just that, and they’ve declined. I don’t think this is going to be what changes their mind. It looks like Ontario is stuck with the Ford Tories, goofy stunts and all. We’ll get more talk of the tunnel, more promises, more studies, and we’ll let it wash over us.

But if we do, if the public lets the government even toy with this joke of a project, the gag will well and truly be on us.

Adapted from “The Ford Government’s 401 Tunnel Is a Joke. But the Premier Isn’t Laughing” by David Moscrop (Substack). Reprinted with permission of the author.