On the art of eulogizing someone you adore

One day this fall, my phone rang too early in the morning for it to be anything but bad news. Stephen Appleby, one of my English cousins, was calling. His mother, my aunt Audrey, had died hours earlier – sadly but not unexpectedly, given her congestive heart failure and fragility at 96.

“She just kind of stopped breathing. It was very peaceful.” He was trying to contain his emotions. “She left five pages of instructions. And she wanted you to give the eulogy at her funeral.”