The Crime Hump Chronicles: Faking it | Unpublished
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Unpublished Opinions

space-coyote's picture
Smiths Falls, Ontario
About the author

Irony, satire and farce - these are a few of my favorite things.

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The Crime Hump Chronicles: Faking it

May 22, 2017

This is part eight of The Crime Hump Chronicles, the creative non-fiction narrative of quantum events. More info, including a list of my charges can be found here, KelleyandDerek.com.

The witnesses have been subpoenaed. I know this because my husband is served one. Some have even posted theirs on social media, along with my home address. I knew this was coming. I guess I’m not surprised. People are hurt and angry, as they should be. The date is getting closer and people are getting eager for answers. Well most are anyways. I am eager for more answers. In just a couple of short weeks I will attend my trial confirmation hearing and then a couple of short months later, my trial will begin. Meanwhile, I try to move my life forward best I can. I’m trying to find work out of the city, closer to home. I’m so sick of commuting. Does a pending criminal charge show up on a criminal reference check? I would hope so. But I would also hope not.

To keep costs down, my lawyer has me come to his office to help organize the case. I’m the best person for this job anyways. He throws me a banker’s box and leaves me alone with it in his conference room. It’s the disclosure. The box is packed. Not entirely how I pictured having my top floor office space on Laurier Avenue one day, but at least I’m here.

I read the information, crown brief synopsis and so forth. I know most of this information already, or could have reasonably guessed it based on what Detective Rodcocker said during my interrogation. In two hours, I finish reading everything. I never knew you could fit a person’s life in a box quite like that. This will all be public when the trial begins so I won’t spoil the ending. There are only a few pages that matter anyways.

They say innocent until proven guilty. That’s how it goes but that’s not really how it goes. The time in between being arrested and awaiting trial is awkward. Everyday is unique. Every day situations are ironic. It’s a feeling like nothing has changed but at the same time everything has changed. I figure I stand out now, so I’m going to try to make a go at my dream job, writing. If not for current circumstances, I never would have attempted such an unrealistic goal. But my life is at a stand still right now. Not much else to do. Maybe a case of fake it till you make it. I know I can make it.

Kelley Denham