The Crime Hump Chronicles: Just Do It | Unpublished
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Smiths Falls, Ontario
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Irony, satire and farce - these are a few of my favorite things.

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The Crime Hump Chronicles: Just Do It

February 27, 2017

 

This is part four of The Crime Hump Chronicles, the creative non-fiction narrative of quantum events. More info, including a list of my charges can be found here, KelleyandDerek.com. Photo credit: Perth courtroom No. 3. Tony Caldwell / Postmedia Network,  http://ottawacitizen.com/opinion/columnists/egan-disorder-in-the-court-perths-horse-and-buggy-justice-building-in-a-wi-fi-age​.

I go alone this time. I see a man on the highway. He’s hitchhiking. I stop to pick him up. We small talk for a bit. I mention where I’m going. He’s going there too. I offer him a smoke once we get there. We chat some more before going in. It’s oddly calming. I feel less alone. Less anxious.

The court house is packed today. Standing room only. I know a lot of these people. I have instructions from my lawyer to set the date. I get in the long line to talk to duty counsel. I figure I might be out of here quicker if I can get someone to speak on my behalf.

The intercom comes on and calls all counsel wishing to set a trial date to court room number two. I will have to speak on my own behalf. I feel oddly confident doing this.

I go to court room number two. There isn’t enough seating for everyone. I’m one of the lucky ones to get a spot, beside the man I picked up earlier. I didn’t know his name until his matter came up on the docket. I guess he knows my name now too. He didn’t seem like the type. I wonder if he thinks I seem like the type. An alleged hacker and a guy who allegedly assaulted a cop, perhaps the beginning of a new friendship? I somehow doubt it. As people come and go, I keep shifting in the pew-like seats to make room. The walls are lined with people. The lawyers sit comfortably before the judge.

My lawyer told me to tell the court that he is available at the first two-week slot open for trials. This is also oddly calming. I made the decision to turn down the deal, a slap on the wrist. Setting the date will make it official. No going back. I don’t want to wait another second.

My name comes up. I tell the judge what my lawyer instructed me to say. The judge and crown do not want to set the date without my lawyer present. I tell them the instructions again, emphasizing my lawyer’s availability. The matter is stood down for another month, to March 27th.

Justice is a waiting game. Waiting for dates to set dates to set even more dates. A tactic to exhaust the parties into potentially unjust resolutions or a justice system that just can’t keep up to demand. I don’t understand why they don’t want to proceed. I’ve made my position very clear. Let’s just do it.